19. Flutter by

A calm Summer morn’

punctuated only by

a passing comma.

 

by Scooj

* The Comma (Polygonia c-album) is a species of butterfly found across Europe, and from N. Africa through Asia as far as Japan.

10. Romeo and Juliet

Sunday 3 April 1988, Koei Maru 30.

I wonder how Arsenal did yesterday. I have written to Sean, holding him to his promise of sending me cuttings of Arsenal’s progress.

I have almost finished David Copperfield. What a deeply moving book – I find myself laughing and crying throughout the book. I shall be sad to finish it.

I spend my whole time looking forwards or backwards in time. I keep making plans for Deb and me to go on  a holiday together for a week – perhaps to a Greek island, or to Sicily or to Corsica or to Siena or anywhere – I live in that dream.

I also think much about my school days and the third chapter in my life – Cholmely, but I can’t put it on paper yet. (Cholmely was the upper-junior school that I went to from age 9-11)

I am learning Queen Mab’s speech – this is what I know.

She is the fairies’ midwife, and she comes

In shape no bigger than an agate-stone

On the fore-finger of an alderman:

Drawn with a team of little atomies

Athwart men’s noses as they lie asleep

I have finished D.C. – I am sad at this prospect. I feel I have myself lived the life of David Copperfield, that I have loved little Emily and that I do love Agnes. Having finished, I am left with the grim reality that I am thousands of miles away from my family and close friends. While Dickens can act to halt progression of my ‘disease’, he cannot cure it. I lived each minute of that book. I know intimately my Aunt, Mr Dick, Dr Strong and his wife Anne, Traddles whom I consider to be a best friend. What a sadness that they are all dead, the author too. Enough mourning. I must read some other books. (It’s lucky I bought so many!). (11 days for Copperfield!)

blog pics  001 10 July 15

A comment from the present day (2015) to put the significance of this last entry into some kind of context. I was never much of a reader in my youth, and only reluctantly read books on into my twenties, preferring to bury myself in my studies, or watching TV. Looking back, I think reading David Copperfield was a life-changing event. There are many of these kinds of events in this journal.

There are also the first signs of a ‘madness’ creeping into my writings, and it feels a bit strange reading them now.

Monday 4 April 1988, Koei Maru 30.

Wrote to Pia and Louise B. Both good friends and good company – as before – writing to them made me feel I was with them – what an incredible thing the mind is.

Milk in a ring-pull can!!

blog pics  002 10 July 15

Sabudo gave me a crate of this stuff – he is looking after me very well indeed. what a good bloke.

Continued Mabs:

Her wagon spokes made of long spinners’ legs;

The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers;

The traces, of the smallest spider’s web;

The collars, of the moonshines watery beams;

Her whip, of cricket’s bone; the lash, of film;

I radioed Stanley and spoke with Crag. I will wait definitely until the KM30 comes into Stanley/Berkley Sound. I am worried about how much time I will actually get on land. I am also worried that I may be being short-changed a bit. Crag said Drin would be coming in, she has been at sea a month – this is not true, she has been at sea less time than me!

Tuesday 5 April 1988, Koei Maru 30.

Watched ‘Inspector Clouseau’ today on video – what a load of cobbler’s – it was an old film (’60s). The highlight for me was that ‘Catweasel’ was in it, playing a chocolate factory porter/watchman. It was a very weak film indeed, but I’m not sure whether it pre-dates or post dates the Pink Panther films. Wrote to Mr Radford and J&J.

Trial part 1

Sprinklers chattering;

a secluded London park.

Peace…pre-interview

 

By Scooj

Princess candy

Bulging eyes, wet skin.

Ma said ‘you’re no oil painting’;

your ship will come in.

 

by Scooj

9. Bread

Wednesday 30 March 1988, Koei Maru 30.

Bread – will I ever be able to look another piece of white bread in the face again and say ‘I want you’ ? It seems unlikely.

Since telling Nananuma (the ship’s cook) that I liked bread and butter, he has produced this stale stack for me each breakfast of up to ten thick slices. It is not only stale, but tastes of the plastic it has been kept in.

He thinks he is doing me a kindness by this service, for which reason I oblige him by eating what I can and taking what is left to my cabin, where, I am sorry to say, having festered in my fridge for a couple of days, it is destined for the waste disposal unit which is my toilet. It is slowly driving me bonkers and I feel that somebody, somewhere is watching me do this! Am I guilty?

I saw a beautiful flock of white birds, their reversed silhouettes emphasised by the black sky background and the bright lights of the ship shining towards them. I took unsuccessful photographs. They looked heron-like or egret-like and tried to roost a while on the masts, but were unable to remain long due to the winds forcing over the bow. They had yellow beaks and long black legs with large feet. What were they doing here? (I found out some time later that they get blown off course from the mainland and probably perish at sea.)

Thursday 31 March 1988, Koei Maru 30

At last March is almost over – roll on April, May, June, so that I may be home again.

The sea has come up in a terrible fury, but is still nowhere near as bad as I am sure it can become. I think fishing may be abandoned in this weather, although I am not sure. It will certainly be affected. Good for the squid I say. I cannot help thinking myself that the season ought not to start until April, to enable all those immature females the chance of at least producing and spawning eggs.

Friday 1 April 1988, Koei Maru 30.

So, I can’t play any tricks on anybody – but I might be able to do something in a letter or two. Yesterday was maddening – no fishing last night and passing the time was even more difficult than usual. I watched ‘Rocky 2’ – wow, some film! And also two really shitty Japanese films, both looked like they were made on Super 8 or something like that.

I can’t remember when I last ate – eating times were all up the spout yesterday! I must keep up with my letters.

image

Only another ten days or so on board and then aaah land ho!

The crew are much better for their enforced day off – no longer do they walk about like zombies.

Mr Chiba (the fishing master) has had a haircut (it was short to start with)

Abe radar has had a shave. They have all slept well and look refreshed.

image

All is much calmer, but we still roll -like right now for example. Wrote to Jazz and Michael.

Saturday 2 April 1988, Koei Maru 30.

A day just like any other passed by. This is a maelstrom of tedium. I want to go home.

 

 

 

2/2 Optimism

Incredible world.

Natural bounty sustains;

with care we can thrive.

 

By Scooj

1/2 Pessimism

Habitat loss and

excessive exploitation.

Death knell for nature.

 

by Scooj

30/30 Bristol Frome

Hidden from all view,

ancient brick culverts guiding.

Secret river Frome.

 

by Scooj

http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/30DaysWildInfo

Bristol Frome
Bristol Frome

This Haiku has special resonance for me, because it relates to some of my work which is to help the citizens of Bristol, and visitors, understand more about the hidden waterways beneath their feet.

How can they care about what they cannot see? I believe that by helping people connect with these hidden secrets, they will care more, and maybe, just maybe, change the way they interact with the water environment.

Use less water, waste less water, stop using toilets as waste bins, stop chucking household waste into the river, enjoy the abundant biodiversity water brings. Water is life.

Bristol Frome
Bristol Frome

 

29/30 Dervish

Pentaradiate;

soft creamy petals unfurl

as if setting sail.

 

by Scooj

http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/30DaysWildInfo

28/30 Warm

A sun-warmed apple.

Pausing for a brief moment

before flitting off.

 

by Scooj

http://www.wildlifetrusts.org/30DaysWildInfo