He used to take us to Hamleys,
on the few occasions we’d see him,
and buy something small
like that plastic stuff
you blow balloons with
through a straw
and then we’d go on to a restaurant;
I always chose sausages and a coke
a rare treat indeed.
He didn’t really spoil us, in fact
it was probably the least he could have done
but we always looked forward to those days.
It must have driven our mum mad.
well now his absence is for good and I shall miss him
and his rather clumsy efforts at being a father.
by Scooj
Natural adventures 
It’s ‘funny’ how we think we wont miss them when they’re gone but when they actually go we very soon realise we will . . .
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Wow. Brutal, honest and poignant–straight from the heart, and the gut. I’ll bet it feels good to write that down.
*****
If you’d like, I’ll share one of my father-pieces with you.
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Thank you. It came remarkably easily, but brings with it a host of emotions and layers. A lifetime of untangling ahead.
Yes please share one of your pieces, I’d love to read it.
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There is just so much stuff stirred up when a parent dies, even an absent one. Hopefully many good memories too.
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Yes, there are good memories, and he was a better grandfather than father.
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Aw that is good. 🙂
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Sounds like you’ve tried to be a more involved father and he realized his error. Glad to see that you are doing some healthy grieving.
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Grieving is a natural thing, I don’t fear it, but there is pain.
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