18. May Days

To any visitors that will be reading this category (Falkland Journal, 1988) for the first time, it might be worthwhile reading the first post ‘An Ill Wind‘ which sets the scene and gives a little bit of context to the blog category.

Just to recap, at the age of 24 I was offered a job as a Fisheries Scientist and flown away from London all the way to the Falkland Islands in the South Atlantic. Almost immediately I was sent out to sea on a Japanese squid fishing boat (a jigger called Koei Maru 30), and am now some three weeks or so into my second voyage. The journal entries are as they were written, with only the smallest grammatical edits.

Sunday 1 May 1988, Koei Maru 30

Is today Mayday? Maypoles and all that lark. What a lovely month May is, and yet so incredibly innocuous – it is neither Winter nor Summer, it is not early Spring – it is a corridor month. I daresay that for people with birthdays in May, it is highly important and memorable, but for me it is nothing – it is a month I remember little about – what happens in May? (How things change, it is now my favourite month of the year)

I am becoming a lazy arse – I don’t like it.! I had plans for learning some Japanese today but have not got round to it.

I must structure my life a bit – getting up is the first problem. Sleeping is another. But I soldier on with Queen Mab – she prevents my complete insanity. So kind of her. The fairies’ midwife.

Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,

Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are.

Sometimes she gallops o’er a courtier’s nose,

And then dreams he of smelling out a suit;

And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig’s tail,

Tickling as parson’s nose as a’ lies asleep’

And then dreams he of another benefice;

Sometime she driveth o’er a soldier’s neck,

And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats,

Of breeches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,

Of health’s five fathom deep; and then anon

Drum in his ear, at which he starts and wakes;

Had a terrible sleep. The sea became pretty rough and it was impossible to stay still. I wish I could handle that.

Monday 2 May 1988, Koei Maru 30

Into May! it looks like O-Zone will be over pretty soon – I have enjoyed it very much – I wonder if and when it will be made into a film – it lends itself very well to that – I wonder if Paul Theroux actually wrote it with a film in mind.

I will now try to learn Katagana in many slow steps.

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Called Crag on the radio – it was great to talk to him – he is very lively on the radio. I mentioned the problem of accommodation and he said he’ll do his best to get me into Goodwyn’s or Emma’s. I’m not so sure about the latter. Jim will be in Stanley this week – lucky pig, perhaps he’ll be on the radio on Friday.

Began reading Ray Bradbury’s ‘the Illustrated Man’.

Falkland Island reading list part 1
Falkland Island reading list part 1

It’s funny, but I don’t think I have mentioned that I’m going to Montevideo yet, although I’ve known about it for more than a week now. I’m so excited about it, but also anxious (when was I ever not?). To be honest, I don’t really know what I’m going to be doing there, but I will be the last to complain.

Tuesday 3 May 1988, Koei Maru 30

Wrote a letter to Deb and a short note to Jasper with ‘reader’s tips’ in. I cried with laughter when I read it through.

A terrible night for fishing – once again I couldn’t sleep, it is so difficult with a rolling boat. Consequently I woke up really late. 10pm – I haven’t had breakfast yet, but am embarrassed to go to the mess to get it because it is so late and I can hear 8 or 9 voices coming from there. I don’t really want any breakfast, I can do quite nicely in my cabin, but often feel obliged to eat when I know a meal has been cooked for me. There is nothing worse than eating a meal you don’t particularly like, and being watched by several inquisitive faces.

Now I am looking forward to getting off this ‘junk’ for a few days. I want to get back to land, breath fresh air, eat bread/toast, talk to people.

Relax Steve, for God’s sake relax. I am a tense bunny.

17. Birthday

The digitisation of my 1988 Falkland Islands journal continues…

Wednesday 27 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Rudely woken at 1pm – it was the fishery patrol ‘Falklands Right’ calling. (At that time the Falkland Islands fisheries directorate had two fisheries patrol vessels, the ‘Desire’ and the ‘Right’, named after the Island’s motto ‘Desire the Right’) They had come to deliver my books (which I notice are already stamped with Falklands Fisheries Directorate! – don’t they trust me or something?)

It was good to speak English and see European faces, even for a fleeting moment. It is also the first time I have seen the ‘Right’. I wish I had taken some photographs. I spoke to ‘John’ on the radio and asked if it was the same ‘John’ as I had spoken to before, and then at last he helped me put two and two together. It was John Clarke all the time – silly me.

The books are pretty good, but either too simple or too complex. When I am in England I will buy the Kanji book, it looks fascinating.

Learning Japanese
Learning Japanese

The newspapers from home are a right mixed bunch, some weeks or months old, others pretty recent. It is nice to have them though.

I had forgotten about page three girls…hideous!

Thursday 28 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

It is now the 28th. I cannot believe how time is flying out here. I don’t seem to be able to write my diary quickly enough. I have just had the best sleep since I arrived on the KM30. Nine uninterrupted hours – few dreams, no nightmares, just restful sleep. Before going to sleep I radioed Port Stanley and spoke to John B. I am so bloody clumsy on the radio it is pathetic. I tried to indicate that Jim and I would like to coordinate being in Port Stanley together – I felt such a sword (dick) asking him about the possibilities. The point (which I know well) is to have as few observers in town at the same time. But that doesn’t stop it from being a lonely job.

I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him about accommodation – that would be really pushy – but I really don’t want to go back to the Malvina Guest House.

Abe radar is a good bloke – I was embarrassed to wake him up for the radio call. He always gives me a beer (and cheese this time) and a couple of cans for my fridge. I am always humbled because they give me things all the time, but I am unable to give them anything back.

Watched the sunrise, but that is tomorrow…

Friday 29 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Squid jigger at sunrise, 29 April 1988
Squid jigger at sunrise, 29 April 1988

Saw the sunrise. It was beautiful – I took some photographs just befort the sun broke the horizon. I was quite moved.

Another bit of Falkland news, This is becoming a bit of a FI scrapbook, but that’s OK.

Newspaper article about a Falklander who discovered Greek treasure.
Newspaper article about a Falklander who discovered Greek treasure.

It is a beautiful day, the sky is really blue and the sun is shining – I only wish I didn’t have to go to sleep now.

I woke up, once again, having had a lovely sleep – it will be murder getting back into a daytime routine again. I am almost exactly opposite a normal sleeping regime!

Watched some more Japanese TV. Their quiz shows are terrible – money this, money that. one of the quiz games is called ‘how much’ – you have to guess what a certain item in a short film clip costs in the currency of the nationality shown in the film. Stupid or what? Japan is the ultimate consumer society. Completely bonkers.

Saturday 30 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Celebrating Deb's birthday
Celebrating Deb’s birthday

Deborah’s Birthday! Nothing else matters about today. It is 03:00 here and in the UK it is 08:00 and Deb will be up and probably having breakfast (or perhaps having an indulgent lie in). I am thinking of her very much and hope that Karen sent the flowers I asked her to. Deb will be touched if she gets them, I know.

23 today. She makes me feel old.

Birthday doodle
Birthday doodle

Correction, one other thing matters today and that is the welfare of Arsenal. I hope they won…come on you reds!

I have become a sleep zombie. I had about 7 hours of sleep today, got up, had a rather yucky breakfast and then slept for 2-3 more hours. Bonkers.

Sleeping at the wrong times is just as painful as it is, say, when you sleep in the day – real ‘boiled egg’. (Boiled egg is a family expression for feeling lousy on account of getting up too early, for example to catch an early holiday flight).

16. Scissors, Paper, Stone

Saturday 23 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

I keep wondering if I heard correctly on the radio that I am going to Montevideo, the only thing I remember about the conversation is that I will have a long-lining trip before I go to the UK, which confirms that I must be going to Monte. Ace!

I hope Arsenal won today and the top five clubs all lost.

I really miss Saturdays at home – either at a match or watching old Des and the teleprinter on TV.

Sunday 24 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

The first thing I learnt today was how to play oli oli iddle (Scissors, paper, stone) in Japanese:

the paper is called ‘Pa’

the scissors called ‘Choki’

the stone is called ‘Gu’

Just before that, I knackered my back lifting a huge basket of squid. Bloody foolish. It hurts a lot. I took an asprin and had a fag. I hate to admit it, but I’ve started smoking rollies…only about one a day, if that. I don’t like them, but I am going through a rebellious phase and they make me feel the part of the wild marine biologist, beard and all.

The reason the crew played oli oli iddle, was because the loser had to provide a box of chocolates as a snack for everyone. The loser was Abe radar. He was amusedly pissed off.

I have spent at least two hours drawing onto pieces of paper the numbers 31-35 and 36-40! This is for labeling the boxes of squid and refers to the number of pieces per box.

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I asked for a crate of coke or juice earlier today. I think it has caused as bit of a fracas. I know I was being talked about by Nananuma, the captain and other crew members, by the glances which were cast my way during the conversation. It is very unnerving, especially when you can’t communicate things properly.

Monday 25 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

For the first time on this voyage, I kept the same hours as the crew and it was good to see the sunrise. I radioed Stanley at 10:00 and spoke to John and confirmed the Montevideo plan, so there is no doubt in my mind. It is on, as far as things can be at Fishops.

I was on a real high before going to bed, but now don’t feel so sure. I miss home. Still I should be back in a matter of two months or so. After that being out here will be easy.

Yesterday was a ‘holiday’ for the crew – a rough sea and an appalling catch. I was lucky to get even one sample.

I have got to get my letter-writing act together, I am falling well behind.

Yesterday I developed my own clinometer. It is built using the window (porthole) catch as the pointer and a piece of paper in the shape of an arc as the dial. I think it is ace. It is graduated with 15 degrees, 10 degrees, 10 degrees.

Tuesday 26 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

O-Zone paperback from my voyage

I can’t honestly believe that I wrote nothing today – what terrible neglect. Probably because I began reading O-Zone and also watched the film ‘Parker’ – a great film. Not much else to say.

15. Desperate men

Thursday 21 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Today hasn’t actually begun yet or at least I suppose it has in Japan and will in the UK fairly shortly. Bit of a cock up on the time front. Well I slept for some 12 hours on and off – bad dreams all the time. I lay awake for half that time. Missed all daylight – God it’s so depressing doing that. I am planning to go to bed at about 10-11 this morning with a view to radioing Stanley at 10 on Friday. Tonight’s fishing completes my first week back of the second voyage – I suppose that has to be good news.

My mind keeps going back to mum on the phone saying “write a book”, “why not?” – I could think of a million reasons why not, beginning with ‘I have nothing to say, nothing new happens’ – too difficult – I cannot express myself – nobody would find it interesting.

I had a good sleep and feel quite refreshed. Changed my socks, or at least my 7-day-old pair walked away from me. In fact they weren’t too smelly.

Smelly socks
Smelly socks

‘Name of the Rose’ is getting good, but I can’t help feeling that Umberto Eco’s vanity has entered into it a little too much. He uses the characters to show how much he himself knows about monastic history from the period 1100 to 1400 or so. Why not write a history instead of a thriller? Vanity? money? I wrote to Deb and to Andy W yesterday. I have become a little less prolific recently, probably all part of my general gloom at the moment.

Friday 22 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

I have managed to get through midnight without my customary snooze, which gives me great cheer and I don’t feel too tired yet, which is a good sign. I have learned to make myself as comfortable as I can and use the mattress from the other bunk to sit across my bed on. It is not ideal, but more comfortable than my fold up writing chair.

I feel it is time to enter some football; results and tables:

Cuttings of football results from newspapers sent out to me from the UK.
Cuttings of football results from newspapers sent out to me from the UK.

I’ve been meaning to do that for ages and feel really good now that it is done. I only yearn now for my next bunch of newspapers.

21:30 hrs – What a lot to talk about.

I must just say on e thing that made me laugh – one of the crew was standing with 5 or 6 packets of liquorice comfits and he said ‘no goo’, whereupon he promptly filled his hand with some and swiftly chucked them in his mouth.

Are these desperate men?

Are these men desperate?

These men are desperate

These are desperate men

Desperate these men are

Desperate men these are

These men desperate are

These desperate men are.

Best news is that I’m going to Uruguay! Yahoo! – all payed for etc etc.

Shit I’m lucky.

It has all come about because of some argument to do with the KSJ/Fisheries Directorate agreement. It seems that KSJ want an observer to watch and report on the refit in Montevideo and count this as part of the 120 day programme of long-lining. Still, I’m not complaining, especially as it now means that my leave will be in July/August instead of June. Much better for everyone.

14. Pissed off

My 1988 Falkland Island journal continues…

Sunday 17 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Getting pretty pissed off out here – the weather is non-descript, overcast. I am in permaslumber and can’t break out. My cabin is too hot, probably causing my drowsiness, the work is bloody boring and most other activities send me to sleep.

A letter to the TLS (click to read)
A letter to the TLS (click to read)

I found an interesting letter in the TLS. I wonder if Ad had tactfully neglected to send the issue with the original article in it – I will have to ask him.

I have seen two more birds, one yesterday and one today:

a little grey and white bird, round and small, ‘flying’ underwater. I’ve seen it on the wall chart, but don’t remember the name;

a tern-like bird, very white with a grey cap and light grey wing uppers. A sleek bird with a forked tail.

Monday 18 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

I damn well slept again from 24:00 until 02:00. It is driving me bonkers. I shouldn’t need an ‘afternoon’ kip after having some ten hours or more night’s sleep. What is happening to me?

Walked into the bridge to find the Fishing Master in his underpants and vest. This is the first time this has happened. It is impossible to know what to do. I cannot ignore him (which I do), because it is so obvious. I cannot leave, because I have work to do.

I slept from 06:30 to 12:30, ready to eat steak, but I have just found the Fishing Master in the kitchen and I think he is eating my food. Revenge is sweet.

Falkland Island 1988 29p stamp
Falkland Island 1988 29p stamp

I managed to get a steak in the end. Wrote to Nick B and to Deb.

I have bumped my head countless times today. It’s a bastard, I’ve got lumps on my head now. It seems to happen as I pass through doorways.

Tuesday 19 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

I hate to admit it, but I wrote nothing today…little happens.

The young 20 year old crew member is sick.

Wednesday 20 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

I think this trip will go faster than the last, especially since I know that it is the last voyage for squid.

I also know that the KM30 will call in at Port Stanley on the 15th to tranship squid with the last KSJ reefer before setting out for a further 10 days.

Monitoring and recording squid, 1988
Monitoring and recording squid, 1988

I set a good quiz for Gavin, which I enjoyed doing, but at this moment, 05:00 I am very pissed off indeed – I don’t know why, I suppose there are many reasons. One which occurs to me immediately is that squid are horrible. I hate bloody squid…I’m even beginning to hate the taste of it. This is a shitty job anyway – yeah, great, so I’ll have a few anecdotes to bore my friends with, but basically it’s shitty. Who else would do this kind of work, that had spent 4 years at university? nobody.

 

13. Brief respite

Wednesday 13 April 1988, Port Stanley, Malvina House Hotel

Another day off – I join the Koei Maru tomorrow, a little sooner than expected – I hope I can cope.

Shopped and watched Mad Max 3 and a dreadful film called Spasmo – I only watched half of it, it was so bad.

The West Store, April 1988
The West Store, April 1988

 

Thursday 14 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

And so, after much deliberation, my second term begins. Oh what have I done to deserve this? At least I have some cereal and also my own stocks. My room now is too hot, but I shan’t complain. I wrote a very mizzy letter to Deb, I was mizzy – it is terrible watching the land get smaller and the night come on.

I learned many things today:

  1. KSJ (the fishing company) want an observer to go to Montevideo. This could be me, Crag or John.
  2. the long-lining will begin in June.
  3. This voyage should end in 4-5 weeks.
  4. the KM30 is due to come into Port Stanley or leave on 27 May.

I would love to go to Montevideo, but not at the expense of a holiday home – I just won’t do it. If I could do both – chance would be a fine thing – then it would be very exciting.

Malvina Guest House bill
Malvina Guest House bill

 

Friday 15 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

We are still within sight of land – yahoo – it makes such a difference to me to be able to see the distant islands and mountains, it makes me feel less remote. Jigging was very good last night and the crew are still up. Poor bastards, almost 36 hours of hard physical work without sleep.

Within sight of land
Within sight of land

Talking of sleep, I don’t seem to be able to stop. I drop off at the drop of a hat. It will take a few days and some discipline to get into the sleeping regime of the crew. I suppose the secret is to stay awake later and later each night. It don’t half make you feel lousy though.

Saturday 16 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

I am now waking up around 1.00pm – the sun is up and the sky is blue, but I think we have lost the land.

Each morning there are videos of Japanese T.V. very interesting. Their sense of humour is almost entirely slapstick. Dreadful overacting and tons of commercials, many with western actors. Incredibly sexist, all of it.

While it is still fresh in my mind, I must remember the two children playing snowballs and war in the garden of the Malvina Guest House. They were employing spanish accents and saying things like ‘you dirty eenglish piig’ (being baddies of course). Amazing, the effects of war.

12. Ashore

The digitisation of my Falkland Islands journal from 1988 continues, with the following section, in which I reach Port Stanley after a long maiden voyage on the Japanese squid jigger ‘Koei Maru 30. All sections in italics, like this one, are comments or observations from now. I try to keep these interruptions to a minimum and stick to what the 24 year old me wrote.

JFHR, Callsign of the Koei Maru 30
JFHR, Callsign of the Koei Maru 30

Monday 11 April 1988, Port Stanley, Malvina House Hotel.

I was picked up. My prayers were answered. The ‘Beagle’ came for me at about 3-4pm. I shared the trip with a couple of hospital cases from various ships – one had a badly injured arm and winced every time we hit a bump (frequently). The other just looked unwell.

Koei Maru 30, Squid Jigger
Koei Maru 30, Squid Jigger

The post was fantastic – to hear from Deb and home. Gavin sent the most incredible letter, which was almost word for word the same as mine (to him). We know each other sinisterly well.

e.g. Beard – he asks for a lock – I sent a bit. Stanley jokes, Arsenal jokes, broken computer joke.

Deb’s letters make me very cheerful, and then very sad – I miss her very much.

I was sad – very sad to hear about Great Uncle John – my mother is so good at these times.

I loved John – I have an outstanding memory of him – about 14-15 years ago, when he, grandpa and I went for a sail in the yacht (Henrietta or Nettie Too) and anchored at a beach near St Anthony’s. We swam ashore – I was assisted on John’s back. I will never forget it (and I never have). The clarity of the water, the heat of the day. Two old men and a young boy swimming. On an outing. It makes me cry. Times gone. Poor John.

It is 7.09 am – I woke at 5.30 but at least got a decent 6 1/2 hours sleep – at night!

In the next few days I will have loads of cuttings to put into this diary.

There is so much to talk about, I will try to spread it out over a period of days.

I am staying at the Malvina Hotel (a little expy, but comfortable).

Malvinas House Hotel in 1988
Malvina House Hotel in 1988

I rang Deb – but unfortunately she was out at a film – she will be so disappointed to have missed me. Damn.

Instead I rang home and had a great conversation with Ma and Ad. Ad said that David Copperfield being my favourite book, was the ‘best news I’ve had in twenty years’ – jokingly.

Leaping forward to July 2015 – reflecting back on this journal, this is a deeply poignant passage for me. My stepfather, Ad, has since passed away, but as a father myself now, I realise how proud he must have felt at that moment. I was never one who cared much for literature in my youth, but David Copperfield was a major turning point in my life. Ad had encouraged me for many years to read amazing books, but I resisted his wisdom, feigning interest, but I had much better things to do. I now have the same interactions with my own son, and I realise there is hope, and he will have his ‘Dickens’ moment.

Tuesday 12 April, Port Stanley, Malvina House Hotel.

Worked all day in the office – statolithing loligo with Andrea? one of the school leavers. They are all very chatty and self-confident. They all seem to have this independent streak.

I was up at 2.30 this morning and couldn’t sleep. It is terrible.

Bedroom at Malvina House Hotel, 1988
Bedroom at Malvina House Hotel, 1988

Spoke to Deb on the telephone – it was really good to hear her – she sounded so close. She has sent lots of post and seen my slides – I’m glad she has.

Went to the globe with Crag and met the history and biology teachers from the school – I forget their names, but what a nice couple – completely bonkers. They are actually looking after Andrea at the moment – Stanley is a very small world.

I must mention the sylph-like girl up at Cable and Wireless when I went to phone Deb. She was the first female I have been in any attracted to since I arrived. She reminds me of Deb. Petite, very lively and bouncy, confident and very sweet. I have no designs, but she makes me happy (I’ve only seen her for about five minutes).

5. Harsh reality

In these next few entries I begin to discover just how tough things can be. Although I was not alone on the Koei Maru 30, I was lonely. I found the physical constraints of being caged within my cabin and on board a small ship difficult to adapt to. Looking back I am not at all surprised about how I felt, after all the longest trip on a boat I had ever had was an overnight ferry to France. But at the time I was bewildered and uncertain…

Friday 18 March 1988. Koei Maru 30

I am feeling depressed. I could be anywhere in the world. I could be happy now, instead I am stuck in my 8ft by 8ft cabin, reading or sleeping or daydreaming. I have spent only one and a half weeks away from home and am seriously doubting my spirit to cope with this job. Perhaps I ought to do a countdown of days in the back of this diary – it is as good as done!

image

I think I shall now have a shower.

I so desperately want to write something profound and interesting, but it is difficult. To try and describe the crew, their faces and characters or to describe my mental state (and physical) – how I feel imprisoned…but it all sounds so bloody pompous. I should stick to straight observations.

I slept for four hours this morning. It is rather queer, but I seem to be sleeping twice a day (24 hour period) so I am getting two days for the price of one. Lucky me.

Fishing last night was very good indeed. There will probably be over 50,000kg – that is a lot of squid. The jigs were stopped before 5am so I was able to take lots of photographs. It was not easy with the jigger lights.

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I have just tried unsuccessfully to call FISHOPS (which the radio operator kept calling SHIPOPS) (FISHOPS was the radio call sign for fisheries operations, my base and link to my world in Port Stanley) but only got a message as far as John on the patrol ship.

image

It is another blistering day, or at least the sun is blasting through my porthole, if you’ll pardon the expression.

I have got over my initial sadness of the death of all these squid and now have become clinical about it. All I really want to do is get my job done as efficiently and as quickly as possible.

The crew appear to invest their earnings in a spectacular array of gold teeth the likes of which I have never come across, and most smoke like chimneys.

I have now established the mealtime regime:

Breakfast at 2400 hrs

Lunch at 0600 hrs

Supper at 1200 hrs

Somehow this isn’t right!!! Sleep from 1200 to 1800. Eat at 1900. Work until 2400 etc etc etc.

It is not at all like this (26/4/88)

Saturday 19 March 1988. Koei Maru 30

Finished my first book – ‘Dr Slaughter’ by Paul Theroux. Hardly the best book to be reading when 8,000 miles away from London.

I have also finished my work for this shift and am going to try and get myself into some kind of sleep regime and am also going to undergo a positive fitness and occupation regime too – otherwise I am in danger of becoming a vegetable.

My beard is now as long as it has been since my return from Egypt, but it still only looks like heavy growth – it is itchy.

If I go to sleep at 4am or so, I can sleep until 11 or 12 and then eat. I should then be able to catch an early jig and then a late jig each day and get a lot of daylight too!

image

It seems to work. I slept, ate and then slept some more and am now (at 1600) ready to sample and stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning.

This morning-afternoon I took some photos of the albatross, if that is what they are, but they are not easy subjects and the setting is incredibly monotonous. I wrote again to Deb and also to R&C last night and to Andy T today.

Sunday 20 March 1988. Koei Maru 30 

I wonder if Arsenal won yesterday. I suppose it is all academic now that they are out of the FA Cup.

I am existing in a state of torpor – too much sleep. If this continues for ten months I am going to go completely bonkers. I already feel that I am beginning to go a little mad. I am having the most weird daydreams, very vivid and strange. I expect I will change a lot over the next few weeks and people at home will notice this.

Last night it was almost impossible to sleep and I have a stiff neck. At about 4am the swell really picked up. It has dropped a little now, but must have been at least 15ft.

Breakfast was disgusting. I am sick of this cold, oily food. God I could do with some nice cheese on toast! Or a bacon roll, or pasta or salami. I miss these things as much as my friends.

Let’s face it guys, I feel terrible. I don’t feel like being sick, but boy have I got a bad headache.