Shops come and shops go
I’m sad it’s the tackle shop
where will I get bait?
Shops come and shops go
I’m sad it’s the tackle shop
where will I get bait?
I haven’t written in this category of my blog for a long while, so for the benefit of the one or two visitors who are reading this blog for the first time I will attempt to provide a little context. It would be worthwhile having a quick read of the first entry ‘An Ill Wind‘. In short, this is a faithful digitisation of a journal I kept when working in the Falkland Islands and South Atlantic in 1988. I am doing this mostly for me, but really hope you enjoy reading it.
Sunday 5 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
A beautiful day indeed. I wish Jim wasn’t going or that I could go with him.I accompanied him to the departure stop and we chatted a while. Some older ladies turned up for the same tour (poor Jim). We said our goodbyes and I promised to get in touch the minute I get home.
I have been smoking too much recently, it is the influence of Jim. I must stop. I feel the damage it does to my lungs. I will limit myself to 4 only each day and vow not to buy cigarettes or tobacco in England.
I promise (signed) Stephen
The boatswain said we will probably leave Monte on or about the 10 June, so I have to cope with 4 nights alone in Monte – I will join the Koei Maru 30 the day before she sails. The Fishing Master is very curt with me – he is venting his disapproval of the proposals (for extended fishing) on me, it isn’t fair. Today I will begin to tick off the days until I return home (see back).
Alone I ventured to the Fogon – very depressing I thought – it’s not the same without a friend to chat to.
After, it was a case of a whiskey solo in the hotel bar before retiring at 9.45pm (pitiful) to read a book and write some letters. I am reading another Theroux novel, ‘the Black House’, it isn’t as attention-grabbing as some of his others.
Monday 6 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
The start of another week during which work on the vessel should be completed. Breakfast alone – the waiter asked me where my friend had gone. “Iguazu” I said, and thought – sod him!
It’s a no no on the jacket – possibly they’ll have one tomorrow – I doubt it. If I pay by visa it’ll cost more !?!
Well Mr Chiba (the Fishing Master) can’t hack it, he’s leaving for japan, and another Fishing Master will join the Koei Maru 30. This is a revelation and perhaps explains his odd behaviour the last few days. We had a hearty chat and quite a lot of fun, so things between us are now well again.

Quite surprisingly I went to the Fogon again. Oddjob was there alone and behaved a bit like a caveman. Oddjob (not his real name) is one of the new crew members on the Koei Maru. I returned to the hotel bar and quaffed a couple of neat whiskeys and read the TLS (Times Literary Supplement), rather classy I thought. My partner in crime was a young woman (28ish) rather attractive who sat two tables away facing me. She sipped her gin and tonic and pretended to read and write some notes.
Then to bed. Alone! I could never make an advance – I’m too bloody shy.
In the Fogon there had been a power cut – ace fun – it only lasted about five minutes but for all that time the place was plunged into darkness.
Tuesday 7 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
The waiter volunteered the information this morning, that the solo girl is English. He made several other suggestions, I think I got the gist, but “benita chica” was one. I breakfasted alone. How is it possible to ask an attractive girl if she would mind if I sat with her, without making her feel I was trying to pick her up. I must convince myself first.
Dreamed that Louise had a helicopter crash – it was so vivid and nasty, but she lived. Somehow she caused 29 million pounds worth of damage to a new airport hangar.
I bought the jacket. I hope I like it. Hip and cool and $185 roughly £100. But best of all, made today, for me, in Uruguay.
Guess where I ate…
Spoke to the English woman at the bar and chatted for a long time. Alas she goes tomorrow, and I will once again be alone in Monte, but it was great to have a long English conversation with someone new. Refreshing.
My opening words (so embarrassing) were “excuse me, but are you English?” She was delightful. Frightfully delicate and well spoken – about 30-35 – very reminiscent of Dr Brown (my university tutor). Independent. She was a freelance writer, but involved with English linguistics and Heinemann educational. I told her I lived near Bedford Square. I didn’t even ask her name – it didn’t seem important and hardly worth it really. So bloody English.
Watched return of the Jedi – ace film.
And drank the water from the tap in my bathroom – if I should collapse and die, this is why.
The sun touched sea slaps
the boat and our lines tighten
and cut on the rise.
by Scooj
There may be one or two visitors who are reading this blog for the first time. To provide a little context, it would be worthwhile having a quick read of the first entry ‘An Ill Wind‘. In short this is a faithful digitisation of a journal I kept when working in the Falkland Islands and South Atlantic in 1988. Enjoy.
Wednesday 1 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
Summer isn’t here at last. It is clearly Autumn, the plethora of leaves littered by the London plane trees tell the story well enough. Got my camera past the dock gates – took some Montevideo piccies, but not many. It is quite nerve racking using a camera, each picture may be your last.
Since this is a stick in page, I may as well put in some misfits.


I was mightily pissed off by all on the KM30, they were not helpful at all. I think there is a conspiracy against me.
Iguazu is out for me, it seems that it must be for eight days or nothing. I can’t give up the time.
We went to the el Fogon a restaurant (still there, I just checked on google) for lunch and also for supper and then on to a topless nightclub.
What an experience! It was like watching an American film- the two uninterested dancers weaved and twisted out of time to the music on podia which allowed a maximum half-stride in any direction. After a while at the bar, Jim and I were approached by a call girl/prostitute who couldn’t understand why we were at the club if we didn’t want a girl. Were we gay? No.
Basically it was a knocking shop and although Jim and I want to return, I think it could be a mistake. Nonetheless it was an experience and life is made up of experiences.
Thursday 2 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
Fun, fun, fun – Jim and I bought leather jackets. His was much nicer than mine, but was also more than double the price. Mine was US$75.
I have decided to get another like Jim’s but at US$185 (£100) it is a little on the expy side.

Jim has decided on the jacket and Iguazu, lucky thing, meanwhile I am to be left, festering in Monte. I’m so glad he has been here up to now.
Nicer weather, clearer skies.
Friday 3 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
Shaved again – I’ve got those lumps and spots once more – it is definitely shaving that produces these infections. Will I ever be free of them?
My jacket, the more I look at it the more I feel is cheap. It will be ok for a ‘rough and tumble’ in the UK, but I am only proud of it because it is Uruguayan.
The sun is at this moment pouring into my hotel room, a seemingly impossible feat given the angle of the room, window and sun.

I am quite pissed off that Jim is going on Sunday, I have enjoyed his company – being alone will be quite boring, but perhaps I’ll meet someone or something – things usually work out alright in the end.
We went again to the topless bar (called Baires). What a seedy dump. Once again we were both approached – in my case by a girl called Giselle? Anyhow we kept a stiff upper lip, refused all approaches and thought ourselves very cool for being so good. I think Jim could quite easily be tempted if I wasn’t here, but if I wasn’t here then he wouldn’t be here at all, so all’s well.
Saturday 4 June 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
A sunny day to wake up to.
Today we went wandering and Wandering. La la la. Jim cocked up on the money front and I bailed him out with US$100. I have worked out that he owes me on the basis of $1.83 dollars to the pound: £54.65 + £8.21 for the other money I lent him, giving a total of £62.86.
Went to the boat and took a hook and line (snood). Watched a German league football match on the TV.
Bought a gourd for Deb and a leather notebook, perhaps for Emily.
Lovely day all day. Jim and I went out onto the hotel roof.
After a very pleasant meal at Otto’s – a more exclusive restaurant than el Fogon we pootled on to the show below:

It was really seedy – it included a ‘free’ drink in the £1.60 entrance fee. What a laugh. The film was a very cheap British Caligula Caesar film, terrible. The strip was more like modern dance performed entirely without interest. The girls and bloke can’t earn much more than about a tenner a day. It was a real gas. Jim and I then went off solemnly to our hotel rooms.
Today marks British Summertime and Easter Sunday, but the weather and its unpredictability has forced me indoors. I thought I’d use the time productively to update my Falkland Island journal from 1988. I urge any new readers to read An Ill Wind, the first ‘chapter’ of this personal voyage in order to understand the context.
Thursday 26 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Yesterday I got $900 which was about £500. I hope I don’t spend this in Montevideo. I will be right pissed off if I can’t get subsistence.
It is a miserable day, but fairly calm. I will miss Port Stanley. I do miss Deb. I can’t wait to go home.
Meeting with Sam, John, Abe ‘Radar’ – Total farce – John is a fool, he has no command of the situation, he didn’t take control. I am sitting with Jim, some hours after our departure from Port Stanley. A poignant moment. Sad.

Leaving Port Stanley can be painful.
Friday 27 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Mellow music, mellow mood – I am surprisingly happy. Martin Stephenson can see me through.
Not so happy now. I have just watched ‘Platoon’ on video. It is a clichéd but nonetheless depressing film. I am now ready to sleep. I am scared of montevideo, it could be quite a dangerous place and I am always a coward. I pray I don’t get any trouble. Wrote to Deb and Gavin.
Japanese wine – bloody horrible.
Saturday 28 May 1988 Koei Maru 30
Pulled off the first of my calendar tags that I made.
Had a ‘conference’ with Mr Chiba (the Captain) and ‘Radar’ (the radio operator). It seems that the KM30 intends to leave here by August 30 at the latest, after only 80 days fishing in the zone. I have the task of being the man on the spot and telling John and John that 120 days looks out of the question.
Sunday 29 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Pay day tomorrow, actually the day after tomorrow.
‘Down and out in Beverly Hills’ – good film. Little Richard remains extremely cool.
The moon is almost full and very bright. It is much warmer here, but still no sight of South America.
Monday 30 May 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
Arrived at last – we’re here and I can’t believe it.

A long wait in a shyte hut.
It was cold – Jim had problems with customs.
It is cheap here – only $27 for a reasonable hotel. Meals out here are pretty cheap too. Jim and I ate out and I paid on Visa.

I can’t understand it.
SOUTH AMERICA!
Tuesday 31 May 1988, Montevideo, London Palace Hotel
Now, let me write with a straight head. We waited in a derelict dock customs gate for some three hours in the cold rain, before the Japanese agent finally sorted something out. Jim in the end will have to pay $25 for his camera. Rip-off.

We saw the customs man accept bribes from an African crew. Two tins of sardines. It was shameless and very funny. It is kind of expected here.

I slept very badly, because I was so very hot and dehydrated, but at least I am here, and have survived the ordeals of the first day.
I must keep a tab on my spending. See p.94.
The cars and trucks here have to be seen to be believed – out of the ’30s ’40s and ’50s. We were given a lift by the agent in a huge Mercedes.
There is no highway code, or so it seems. The whole place is a ‘Tintin’ adventure.
I went to the boat – not much seems to have happened there yet, except a few of the machines have been uncovered. I will return there tomorrow.
We wandered fairly aimlessly about, something I love doing in foreign cities, but Jim seemed to tire of it. He derives his pleasures in different ways to me. We inquired about trips to Iguazu falls.
Wednesday 4 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
It is almost the end of Wednesday. Yesterday was quite a busy day…by yesterday I mean last night. Although there were very few squid, I managed to do two samples. I also helped remove the viscera from the bodies for my second sample. These squid will be used as presents for the crew’s families.

I cannot eat my breakfast yet because all the crew members are asleep in the ship’s mess/saloon. I must wait until the ship stops, although I have no idea when that will be.
Thursday 5 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
It is just as well that I drew those pictures, because I wrote practically nothing yesterday. Instead I read and wrote letters. This evening I have hurt my back again, just a little twinge this time, but a warning
We have sailed west to the edge of the zone. I would not like to leave it. I think the Argies have some fishing patrol boats of their own, and I would not like to be boarded by an Argentinian fisheries officer.
I am now looking forward to a bit of time in Port Stanley, I have been out at sea this time for three weeks now! I would quite like a bit of fun time on a patrol vessel – I would like to use the gymnasium.

Slept very badly once again. I may have to resort to a couple of stugeron fairly soon. Watched Deathwish – a good film despite having seen it twice before and it being in Japanese! Another week is over. Three gone, how many left to go?
I want Stanley (nowlookatthemessyou’vegottenmeinto) soon. I cannot eat much more of this rich food without having a heart attack.
Friday 6 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Not a bad day. The best part was hearing from John on the radio that I would be picked up by a fishing patrol boat on Tuesday or Wednesday next week. Obviously a lot depends on the weather, but I live in hope. Otherwise I could be stuck on here until about 20 May – this would be terrible.
I may have made another real blunder on the radio, when complaining to John that the conversion factor is way out. He seemed to brush it aside casually and changed the subject pronto. oops!
I had three beers (and 3three cigs – God they’re bad for you) and watched TV and slept, and slept, and slept.
Curious dreams:

To any visitors that will be reading this category (Falkland Journal, 1988) for the first time, it might be worthwhile reading the first post ‘An Ill Wind‘ which sets the scene and gives a little bit of context to the blog category.
Just to recap, at the age of 24 I was offered a job as a Fisheries Scientist and flown away from London all the way to the Falkland Islands in the South Atlantic. Almost immediately I was sent out to sea on a Japanese squid fishing boat (a jigger called Koei Maru 30), and am now some three weeks or so into my second voyage. The journal entries are as they were written, with only the smallest grammatical edits.
Sunday 1 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Is today Mayday? Maypoles and all that lark. What a lovely month May is, and yet so incredibly innocuous – it is neither Winter nor Summer, it is not early Spring – it is a corridor month. I daresay that for people with birthdays in May, it is highly important and memorable, but for me it is nothing – it is a month I remember little about – what happens in May? (How things change, it is now my favourite month of the year)
I am becoming a lazy arse – I don’t like it.! I had plans for learning some Japanese today but have not got round to it.
I must structure my life a bit – getting up is the first problem. Sleeping is another. But I soldier on with Queen Mab – she prevents my complete insanity. So kind of her. The fairies’ midwife.
Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues,
Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are.
Sometimes she gallops o’er a courtier’s nose,
And then dreams he of smelling out a suit;
And sometimes comes she with a tithe-pig’s tail,
Tickling as parson’s nose as a’ lies asleep’
And then dreams he of another benefice;
Sometime she driveth o’er a soldier’s neck,
And then dreams he of cutting foreign throats,
Of breeches, ambuscadoes, Spanish blades,
Of health’s five fathom deep; and then anon
Drum in his ear, at which he starts and wakes;
Had a terrible sleep. The sea became pretty rough and it was impossible to stay still. I wish I could handle that.
Monday 2 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Into May! it looks like O-Zone will be over pretty soon – I have enjoyed it very much – I wonder if and when it will be made into a film – it lends itself very well to that – I wonder if Paul Theroux actually wrote it with a film in mind.
I will now try to learn Katagana in many slow steps.
Called Crag on the radio – it was great to talk to him – he is very lively on the radio. I mentioned the problem of accommodation and he said he’ll do his best to get me into Goodwyn’s or Emma’s. I’m not so sure about the latter. Jim will be in Stanley this week – lucky pig, perhaps he’ll be on the radio on Friday.
Began reading Ray Bradbury’s ‘the Illustrated Man’.

It’s funny, but I don’t think I have mentioned that I’m going to Montevideo yet, although I’ve known about it for more than a week now. I’m so excited about it, but also anxious (when was I ever not?). To be honest, I don’t really know what I’m going to be doing there, but I will be the last to complain.
Tuesday 3 May 1988, Koei Maru 30
Wrote a letter to Deb and a short note to Jasper with ‘reader’s tips’ in. I cried with laughter when I read it through.
A terrible night for fishing – once again I couldn’t sleep, it is so difficult with a rolling boat. Consequently I woke up really late. 10pm – I haven’t had breakfast yet, but am embarrassed to go to the mess to get it because it is so late and I can hear 8 or 9 voices coming from there. I don’t really want any breakfast, I can do quite nicely in my cabin, but often feel obliged to eat when I know a meal has been cooked for me. There is nothing worse than eating a meal you don’t particularly like, and being watched by several inquisitive faces.
Now I am looking forward to getting off this ‘junk’ for a few days. I want to get back to land, breath fresh air, eat bread/toast, talk to people.
Relax Steve, for God’s sake relax. I am a tense bunny.
The digitisation of my 1988 Falkland Islands journal continues…
Wednesday 27 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
Rudely woken at 1pm – it was the fishery patrol ‘Falklands Right’ calling. (At that time the Falkland Islands fisheries directorate had two fisheries patrol vessels, the ‘Desire’ and the ‘Right’, named after the Island’s motto ‘Desire the Right’) They had come to deliver my books (which I notice are already stamped with Falklands Fisheries Directorate! – don’t they trust me or something?)
It was good to speak English and see European faces, even for a fleeting moment. It is also the first time I have seen the ‘Right’. I wish I had taken some photographs. I spoke to ‘John’ on the radio and asked if it was the same ‘John’ as I had spoken to before, and then at last he helped me put two and two together. It was John Clarke all the time – silly me.
The books are pretty good, but either too simple or too complex. When I am in England I will buy the Kanji book, it looks fascinating.

The newspapers from home are a right mixed bunch, some weeks or months old, others pretty recent. It is nice to have them though.
I had forgotten about page three girls…hideous!
Thursday 28 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
It is now the 28th. I cannot believe how time is flying out here. I don’t seem to be able to write my diary quickly enough. I have just had the best sleep since I arrived on the KM30. Nine uninterrupted hours – few dreams, no nightmares, just restful sleep. Before going to sleep I radioed Port Stanley and spoke to John B. I am so bloody clumsy on the radio it is pathetic. I tried to indicate that Jim and I would like to coordinate being in Port Stanley together – I felt such a sword (dick) asking him about the possibilities. The point (which I know well) is to have as few observers in town at the same time. But that doesn’t stop it from being a lonely job.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him about accommodation – that would be really pushy – but I really don’t want to go back to the Malvina Guest House.
Abe radar is a good bloke – I was embarrassed to wake him up for the radio call. He always gives me a beer (and cheese this time) and a couple of cans for my fridge. I am always humbled because they give me things all the time, but I am unable to give them anything back.
Watched the sunrise, but that is tomorrow…
Friday 29 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Saw the sunrise. It was beautiful – I took some photographs just befort the sun broke the horizon. I was quite moved.
Another bit of Falkland news, This is becoming a bit of a FI scrapbook, but that’s OK.

It is a beautiful day, the sky is really blue and the sun is shining – I only wish I didn’t have to go to sleep now.
I woke up, once again, having had a lovely sleep – it will be murder getting back into a daytime routine again. I am almost exactly opposite a normal sleeping regime!
Watched some more Japanese TV. Their quiz shows are terrible – money this, money that. one of the quiz games is called ‘how much’ – you have to guess what a certain item in a short film clip costs in the currency of the nationality shown in the film. Stupid or what? Japan is the ultimate consumer society. Completely bonkers.
Saturday 30 April 1988, Koei Maru 30

Deborah’s Birthday! Nothing else matters about today. It is 03:00 here and in the UK it is 08:00 and Deb will be up and probably having breakfast (or perhaps having an indulgent lie in). I am thinking of her very much and hope that Karen sent the flowers I asked her to. Deb will be touched if she gets them, I know.
23 today. She makes me feel old.

Correction, one other thing matters today and that is the welfare of Arsenal. I hope they won…come on you reds!
I have become a sleep zombie. I had about 7 hours of sleep today, got up, had a rather yucky breakfast and then slept for 2-3 more hours. Bonkers.
Sleeping at the wrong times is just as painful as it is, say, when you sleep in the day – real ‘boiled egg’. (Boiled egg is a family expression for feeling lousy on account of getting up too early, for example to catch an early holiday flight).
Thursday 21 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
Today hasn’t actually begun yet or at least I suppose it has in Japan and will in the UK fairly shortly. Bit of a cock up on the time front. Well I slept for some 12 hours on and off – bad dreams all the time. I lay awake for half that time. Missed all daylight – God it’s so depressing doing that. I am planning to go to bed at about 10-11 this morning with a view to radioing Stanley at 10 on Friday. Tonight’s fishing completes my first week back of the second voyage – I suppose that has to be good news.
My mind keeps going back to mum on the phone saying “write a book”, “why not?” – I could think of a million reasons why not, beginning with ‘I have nothing to say, nothing new happens’ – too difficult – I cannot express myself – nobody would find it interesting.
I had a good sleep and feel quite refreshed. Changed my socks, or at least my 7-day-old pair walked away from me. In fact they weren’t too smelly.

‘Name of the Rose’ is getting good, but I can’t help feeling that Umberto Eco’s vanity has entered into it a little too much. He uses the characters to show how much he himself knows about monastic history from the period 1100 to 1400 or so. Why not write a history instead of a thriller? Vanity? money? I wrote to Deb and to Andy W yesterday. I have become a little less prolific recently, probably all part of my general gloom at the moment.
Friday 22 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
I have managed to get through midnight without my customary snooze, which gives me great cheer and I don’t feel too tired yet, which is a good sign. I have learned to make myself as comfortable as I can and use the mattress from the other bunk to sit across my bed on. It is not ideal, but more comfortable than my fold up writing chair.
I feel it is time to enter some football; results and tables:

I’ve been meaning to do that for ages and feel really good now that it is done. I only yearn now for my next bunch of newspapers.
21:30 hrs – What a lot to talk about.
I must just say on e thing that made me laugh – one of the crew was standing with 5 or 6 packets of liquorice comfits and he said ‘no goo’, whereupon he promptly filled his hand with some and swiftly chucked them in his mouth.
Are these desperate men?
Are these men desperate?
These men are desperate
These are desperate men
Desperate these men are
Desperate men these are
These men desperate are
These desperate men are.
Best news is that I’m going to Uruguay! Yahoo! – all payed for etc etc.
Shit I’m lucky.
It has all come about because of some argument to do with the KSJ/Fisheries Directorate agreement. It seems that KSJ want an observer to watch and report on the refit in Montevideo and count this as part of the 120 day programme of long-lining. Still, I’m not complaining, especially as it now means that my leave will be in July/August instead of June. Much better for everyone.
My 1988 Falkland Island journal continues…
Sunday 17 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
Getting pretty pissed off out here – the weather is non-descript, overcast. I am in permaslumber and can’t break out. My cabin is too hot, probably causing my drowsiness, the work is bloody boring and most other activities send me to sleep.

I found an interesting letter in the TLS. I wonder if Ad had tactfully neglected to send the issue with the original article in it – I will have to ask him.
I have seen two more birds, one yesterday and one today:
a little grey and white bird, round and small, ‘flying’ underwater. I’ve seen it on the wall chart, but don’t remember the name;
a tern-like bird, very white with a grey cap and light grey wing uppers. A sleek bird with a forked tail.
Monday 18 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
I damn well slept again from 24:00 until 02:00. It is driving me bonkers. I shouldn’t need an ‘afternoon’ kip after having some ten hours or more night’s sleep. What is happening to me?
Walked into the bridge to find the Fishing Master in his underpants and vest. This is the first time this has happened. It is impossible to know what to do. I cannot ignore him (which I do), because it is so obvious. I cannot leave, because I have work to do.
I slept from 06:30 to 12:30, ready to eat steak, but I have just found the Fishing Master in the kitchen and I think he is eating my food. Revenge is sweet.

I managed to get a steak in the end. Wrote to Nick B and to Deb.
I have bumped my head countless times today. It’s a bastard, I’ve got lumps on my head now. It seems to happen as I pass through doorways.
Tuesday 19 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
I hate to admit it, but I wrote nothing today…little happens.
The young 20 year old crew member is sick.
Wednesday 20 April 1988, Koei Maru 30
I think this trip will go faster than the last, especially since I know that it is the last voyage for squid.
I also know that the KM30 will call in at Port Stanley on the 15th to tranship squid with the last KSJ reefer before setting out for a further 10 days.

I set a good quiz for Gavin, which I enjoyed doing, but at this moment, 05:00 I am very pissed off indeed – I don’t know why, I suppose there are many reasons. One which occurs to me immediately is that squid are horrible. I hate bloody squid…I’m even beginning to hate the taste of it. This is a shitty job anyway – yeah, great, so I’ll have a few anecdotes to bore my friends with, but basically it’s shitty. Who else would do this kind of work, that had spent 4 years at university? nobody.